Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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