I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
