And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
