Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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