U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
