omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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