once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
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I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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