i barfeds in our rink
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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