I am puke
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
