Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
