We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we're making bets on your personal life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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