the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
