I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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