i love accidental penises.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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