K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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