i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
