you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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