You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
