i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Someone stole a lamp last night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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