R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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