Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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