Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
