The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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