I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
