Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Randomize
