i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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