this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
