covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
