bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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