he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
