you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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