Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
