i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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