You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
