he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
