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I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
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