we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.