He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
