Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
