this just has baby written all over it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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