"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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