I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
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The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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