Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
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I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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