I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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