Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
