Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
