You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
