I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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