Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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