In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
