Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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