Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
