DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
