How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
