Nicole vs. Life
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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