Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
