I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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