And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize