so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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